I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Lo siento on account of my penis...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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