Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
