What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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