hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
