a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
