he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
