My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
