Where is the hickey?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
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