Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
