my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
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