Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize