she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
