So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Still dying that you shit outside
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize