Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
