Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
