So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
