bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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