Whod you bang
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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