i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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