let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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