Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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