great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
BRING THE BAGELS
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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