he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
