I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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