holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
