she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
