is your mom at the bar?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
