i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
