Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
