At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Randomize
