i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
