at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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