White coat. Heels.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
