We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
