she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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