After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
