my being single is dangerous.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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