a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize