dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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