Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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