She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
