You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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