she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
We left an ass print on the piano.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
