im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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