I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
