speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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