I accidentally had phone sex last night
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
God I need to hump something, right now.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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