I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
