I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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