There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
