btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
