can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
