I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
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