Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
