rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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