can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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