I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
