the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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