the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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