Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
