You're so nebulous sometimes
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
