Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
