my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
is that a dick in a sweater?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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