You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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