I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
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