I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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