I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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