If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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